Having shelled out cash money for "The Lorax," which in the view of 2/3 of the Three French Men barely rates a rental, is grumble-worthy enough. But there were also the ancillary repercussions that arose from the trailers that proceeded, for animated films ParaNorman and Frankenweenie. ParaNorman is about a misfit kid who talks to dead people and has to fight off some kind of Zombie Apocalypse. Frankenweenie is about a misfit kid who reanimates his dead dog. Both are filled with Burtonesque ghastliness, and lightning, and ghouls pulling their pallid heads off, and lots of other scary-ass macabrity.
Just the sort of macabrity that really shakes TwoBert's cage before bedtime.
It's important to note, I think, that it's been several weeks since TwoBert has slept in his own bed. Last fall, after we bought some sleeping bags for a camping trip, he hit upon the idea that he could sleep just about anywhere, like a wolfhound marking his territory. In his brother's room. On the couch. He spent about three weeks sleeping under his bed, and most recently discovered the bottom of the linen closet.
After those mega-creepy film trailers, he asked adamantly to sleep with me.
To sleep with TwoBert is to recognize that you will not sleep much. When this child sleeps in the same bed with you, he assumes one of two positions: Splayed or Hip Check. I honestly think he dreams only of jumping jacks and/or scrambling for loose pucks. He's also an aggressive snuggler that craves body heat--usually butt-first. If you shy away from his butt, his butt will find you. Then his legs will pivot over to your legs, causing his head to flop away from you, and his body to bisect the bed on the diagonal, like a club sandwich.
But when you come to bed, and find he's left four square feet for you to sleep in, and you shove him over to clear more space for your larger-than-four-square-foot frame, he will roll back over, plant his face in your triceps, and throw his arm around your chest. Assuring you that, when the Zombie Apocalypse comes, he will use you as a human shield and make sure your brains are eaten first.
