About four weeks ago, the song that titles this post pulled up a chair and sat right down in my brain. The hypnotic guitar riff at the end just plays endlessly, on an ear-to-ear loop, and I've often caught myself singing the refrain out loud, wincing in Timothy B. Schmitt's falsetto. I even tried to Blip it, but for some reason Blip has yet to embrace its all-too-important 40-plus, folk-rock-enthusiast demographic. (BlipFAIL!)
The symbolism is pretty blunt, because behind the placid exterior of a neglected blog lies an existence that is anything but. Family Version 2.0 is experiencing a few bugs, and we're back with the mediator trying to re-jigger something that I thought we had jiggered just fine only six months ago. I'm optimistic we'll be able to sort it out, because I have to be, but it still frustrates me to see all this time and effort and money so needlessly misspent. It's like we're sprinting in circles in a huge bowl of heavy cream, churning up a frosting that will ultimately engulf us.
For a real-life metaphor, look no further than the light-saber battle in Washington Square Park that the boys and I attended on Saturday night:
The boys just about jumped out of their shirts when I told them about it, since they've been hitting the LEGO Star Wars pretty hard lately. But we should have paid more attention to the "all ages" in the fine print; the crowd was mostly college kids and hipster dudes. As usual, Robert assessed things frankly: "Dad, this is pretty lame. It's just a bunch of grown-ups in the dark beating each other up for no reason."
I know, kid. We're working on it.
Ahhh, but when you mix the heavy cream hard enough you get whipped cream, food of the gods. And when you overdo it? Butter. But enough of the lemons/lemonade bit. I am continually and deeply impressed by your approach and (I'm sure edited before it gets to us -- the truly dark days can't look like what you share!) outlook. The boys are lucky to have you. And if anyone has to have an ex-spouse, from here it looks like your wife is way lucky that it's you. Thank you for sharing this hopeful view of what's possible. And thanks for reminding me to have fun with my kiddos from time to time.
Posted by: ch | April 27, 2009 at 09:45
I've always love that song, and now you got me singing it.
Thanks . . .
Posted by: tysdaddy | April 27, 2009 at 10:36
You rock and you will continue to rock as you swim through the cream! Just remember, hold your head up so none of the cream goes up your nose, that's never good! Sending good thoughts your way! And....your boys are lucky to have you, so is the ex, as stated above, it just may take her a while to realize it! We women are just that way :(
Posted by: DOT | April 27, 2009 at 11:52
Robert is uncannily wise.
Posted by: Miss Grace | April 27, 2009 at 12:14
You're making a new life you like in spite of the divorce. It sounds like she's trying to make a new life with the maximum amount of spite.
Best of luck. The mediator is not wasted money.
Posted by: Melissa | April 27, 2009 at 14:10
Anything worth having is worth working for. Sometimes things that appear easy are usually the hardest. Your children will always appreciate the money you are spending to keep things amicable and happy. Divorce is never easy but at least you are trying to make it seem easy. Bravo my friend - Bravo.
Posted by: Beth | April 27, 2009 at 14:58
He does have a point.
Have you considered a duel to the death by light sabre?
Much cheaper.
ps. You really do have the best blog banners.
Posted by: shula | April 27, 2009 at 22:15
I can't believe she asked you to move so that she could be closer to her boyfriend. Lame.
Posted by: Melanie | April 27, 2009 at 23:40
You are brilliant.
And you will be fine. If you can keep your head she will be forced to see the folly of this re-jiggering and let it go - at least that's my hope for you.
Posted by: 21stCenturyMom | April 28, 2009 at 01:17
I think that those of us who read both blogs should refrain from making assumptions as to what the 're-jiggering' is (or anything else to do with their personal life for that matter.) We are not present in their personal lives and really do not know what is going on.
Posted by: Kathy B. | April 28, 2009 at 13:48
It's hard to predict which "all ages" things will be fun for a kid at a given age. Some of the all ages shows in Seattle attract mostly 12 year olds (no fun for me or my 18 year old nephew), while others attract mostly 40 year olds (not very relaxing for me when I bring my 12 year old niece).
I would have had high hopes for a light saber battle; sorry it wasn't more fun.
Posted by: Melissa | April 28, 2009 at 15:36
Blunt symbolism gets the job done perfectly well sometimes.
Posted by: tuckova | April 28, 2009 at 16:01
Out of the mouths of babes.
Posted by: kidsmom | April 28, 2009 at 20:35
Difficult stuff, family troubles are.
Kids say the darndest things, and at the right times.
Posted by: Mary @ Holy Mackerel | April 29, 2009 at 20:33
Waitaminute. I go away for 18 months and you are suddenly--DIVORCED? Huh. I guess lots of changes can take place in 18 months--like now I'M laid off... First time ever in my life. Feels strange. And my kids are already in their mid- and late 20s...
Well. So, hope you are gettin' through it. Takes about 3 years...
Posted by: Kathee | April 30, 2009 at 01:18
I love it when kids are so honest and frank. They are all spirit. My 5 year old daughter does that a lot at my oldest's school. All of a sudden everyone is talking and she screams.."YOU have a HUGE bugger on your nose or something THERE". I laugh, but sometimes she's too much. My parents divorced after 31 years. They must have said.."The kids are gone, let's try it for a few more years"."Nahh I don't like you anymore".
Posted by: Lucy | May 02, 2009 at 07:02
Well, you make writing look easier than it actually is. So there's that.
Posted by: Laura | May 02, 2009 at 14:44