I grew my first beard when I was 24 and backpacking around Europe. And as it grew in, I was sort of startled by the facts that 1) I had total face coverage in about 10 days and 2) a lot of my chin hair was auburny red. Ever since I've thought of my chin as its own Fuzzy Pumper Barber Shop, loaded up with orange Play-Doh.
So now, spring is springing, I'm off work for two weeks, and I'm coming to grips with my new identity as something of a Manhattan Mountain Man. Naturally, I'm letting the face hair out for its annual fling. And now that it's been 10 days, there's been a new development:
Behold: the grayness.
It's not all that troubling, really. Plenty of vital individuals have rocked the gray beards. Da Vinci, Gandalf, Redd Foxx. But I'm also potentially on the downhill slope toward becoming That Guy, the old crank at the end of the block who shakes his fist and screams "Consarn it!" when your ball lands in his pachysandra. A chilling prospect.
I will try to stave off this newest evidence of encroaching death by spending the week living in my old apartment, with my current children, while Mama's out of town. It's all so familiar, yet decidedly not; I will know exactly where I am but have no clue where anything is. Perhaps I will emerge from this alternate reality as Gandalf the White, which would be totally cool -- except my lease probably doesn't allow horses.
Dude, the grey is awesome. It adds ... gravitas.
Yeah.
That.
Posted by: Chookooloonks | March 21, 2009 at 18:30
I am glad I am not the only one person who is affected by a red and gray beard. Any time I forget to shave, I am constantly teased about being a closet 'ginger'. Perhaps we need to form a support group.
Cheers
Posted by: Brandon | March 22, 2009 at 13:12
Red hair is the first to go grey. Fact.
Posted by: Miss Grace | March 22, 2009 at 16:31
Wait a minute, Bossy needs her reading glasses to see your gray. Ain't aging a bitch?
Posted by: BOSSY | March 23, 2009 at 21:32
Whatever. Please tell me us you at least pay-per-viewed a movie.
Hell, I'll take grey. My lettuce just forgets to grow back after every haircut. OY!
Posted by: Another Dad | March 23, 2009 at 22:42
There was laid-off a man in my town here who had vowed to grow his beard until he was hired. He gave in and shaved it, though. I can't imagine it was good for job interviews.
Posted by: Laidofflady | March 24, 2009 at 11:58
Speaking for the females, gray can be very, very sexy.
· George Clooney (Actor)
· Anderson Cooper (CNN News Anchor)
· Jon Stewart (News Anchor)
· Brett Favre (Green Bay Packers Quarterback)
· Mark Harmon (Actor on the show NCIS)
Posted by: the girl | March 24, 2009 at 12:36
The girl makes a good point.
Posted by: Alli | March 25, 2009 at 09:33
You look stunning my friend! You totally rock the beard thing and I'm not a beard fan!
Posted by: DOT | March 28, 2009 at 21:45
I love the gray! Much better than any other color.
P.s. I'm currently reading "Things I Learned From My Father" and I loved your entry so much I sought out this blog. You're a wonderful writer... with now a kick ass beard.
Posted by: Becky | April 02, 2009 at 09:42