Good gravy, it's 2009. The last year of the aughts. Remember when we all thought Y2K would shut down every power grid, and corrupt every byte of data, and turn the Western hemisphere into a windswept Thunderdome? Wasn't that quaint? And does it drop your jaw to think all that happened nine years ago, when an anxious world first asked who wanted to be a millionaire, and the Backstreet Boys wanted it "that way?"
Also: Does it trouble anyone to realize this was the last year you could spend New Year's Eve wearing a pair of novelty glasses with the middle zeros over your eyes, unless your eyes are freakishly far apart enough to accommodate a "1" between them?
It's been a busy few weeks here at Outpost LOD, the kind of busy you get when you're off work for two weeks, and you're not away from your home 17 hours a day, and you have a little time to focus on mundane stuff like Oh Right, I'm a Person With a Life. A Person Who Needs a Colander, and a Frying Pan, and Maybe One of Those Mounted-Hook Things You Get at Home Depot.
A person with neighbors who are so unbelievably nice they knock on your door with a plate of freshly baked Gingerbread Men with little pre-loaded packets of icing for each son. (Robert showed remarkable dexterity in making eyes and smiles and buttons--and shockingly, no genitalia. TwoBert misunderstood the instructions and decorated himself.)
A person who knocked down all 66 pins in that goofy Pins Aplenty game of Wii bowling and thought, OK, maybe owning a Wii isn't a terrible idea.
A person who has found the couch of his dreams, a couch that is durable yet cradles him in a firm-yet-yielding embrace, and who is sort of obsessing about it until he gets to drive out to the showroom on Saturday and beseech whoever will listen to please please for the love of Chrysler get it to me before the sun is warm again.
A person who wants to apologize to his friends for sort of withdrawing into himself and who wants them all to know his new address (his first in 16 years), which he will include in a series of holiday cards that might, at this rate, commemorate Ash Wednesday. Watch your boxes, y'all!