You might be expecting an update about my children, but they've been out of town at a family reunion since Friday. And in their absence, I have been packing/chucking/moving, sweaty activities usually accompanied by (foreshadowing alert) ice cold beer. The kids are due back tomorrow for more business as usual; in the meantime, I need to get something off my chest.
Ladies and gentlemen, you and I may be just too accustomed to America selling off its icons. We winced when a Japanese group bought Rockefeller Center. We cringed when the Abu Dhabi government bought the Chrysler Building. We threw up in our mouths a bit when Germans bought Chrysler and the Muppets. But we managed to get on with our lives, and our systems adjusted (especially after we bought the Rock back -- for a song!). But selling Anheuser-Busch to Belgians/Brazilians? This is a new low. Anheuser-Busch makes Budweiser, the King of Beers. The Great American Lager. Sure, the "great" must refer to worldwide sales, since it has a taste barely differentiable from chewing on masking tape. But it was our masking tape, dammit. The image of the powerful Clydesdales hauling a beer wagon has been lost, replaced by Flemish merchants dancing topless at Carnevale.
Perhaps we should have taken notice when Bud Light started advertising itself as "drinkable." In retrospect, this was clearly a cry for help.
Budweiser means a great deal to me, because it was the first beer I ever got drunk on. It was at my buddy Rich's basement party; after I finished my fourth tallboy, I spent the next hour or so shaking hands with everyone for some reason. Then I puked and went home.
When their time comes, many years from now, this is the experience I want for my sons. I want them to sit in an American home, drink American beer, and throw up on the bumper of an American car. Then I want them to learn that American beer is awful and never drink it again. How are they supposed to do that? With Coors? The brand that advertises itself as "cold"?!?
