Beckoning Krakatoa

It pains me to break away from the Battle of the Nerds and impose TwoBert's GI tract on the great reading public. But it cannot be denied that the Pooper's Strike, now in Day Four, has captured our imaginations, and we're wracking our brains for any remedy to defuse this digestive bomb. After school drop-off, we stopped for a bran muffin with raisins. (TwoBert pretty much granulated the thing, but a great sign of a fresh muffin is when you can mold those granules back into little nuggets.) He begged for a sip of coffee, as he always does, but this time I obliged. My wife left him some breakfast smoothie; I have no idea what was in it, but it looked like that hunter-green blop that Renee Russo drank in the Thomas Crown remake. Prunes and apples for lunch, along with lots of water, followed by two hours of running at the playground. Now that we're home, he's pantsless and pushing all the buttons on our printer. And the primitives are assembled, arms linked, swaying and chanting and coaxing forth that fickle fecal lava that will restore order to our little tribe.

More as this story develops.

Comments

[creative-type dad]

Wow. If that were my kid, there would definitely be some major cleanup in the toy aisle.

[MetroDad]

Cup of espresso and a cigarette always work for me.

[carrie]

Ugh. My daughter had chronic constipation at that age. A daily dose of stool softener helped quite a bit. It's safe, they don't digest it. It just helps move things along. Also, drink lots of water. Good luck!

[carrie]

Ugh. My daughter had chronic constipation at that age. A daily dose of stool softener helped quite a bit. It's safe, they don't digest it. It just helps move things along. Also, drink lots of water. Good luck!

[raych]

Licorice is a half-decent laxative. I'm not even joking. We feed it to our daycare kids when they aren't shitting.

[Lulu]

Poor baby! P fruits!! Peaches, Pears, Pinapple, etc.... Peas even work. Two servings a day. And yup that plenty of water.

Good luck.

[Lunasea]

We started our non-pooping boy on Benefiber every morning, which helped, but we had to bring in the big guns, i.e. Miralax. It's OTC now. He sounds like he's playing a trumpet with his ass right now.

[Vina]

The discovery of YummiBears, gummy bears with 12 grams of fiber in a serving (4 bears), ushered in a new era of serenity in my house after a year-long spate of many Miralax prescriptions, visits to specialists, etc. My daughter (3 and change now) loves them! YummiBears by Hero (cheapest at VitaCost.com). Good luck!

[Vina]

The discovery of YummiBears, gummy bears with 12 grams of fiber in a serving (4 bears), ushered in a new era of serenity in my house after a year-long spate of many Miralax prescriptions, visits to specialists, etc. My daughter (3 and change now) loves them! YummiBears by Hero (cheapest at VitaCost.com). Good luck!

[Lisa C.]

I have a poop striker, too. Surefire remedy: tummy massage with some sort of oil (I used olive, because it was available) for about 20 minutes (I usually put on a cartoon for him), followed immediately by a warm bath. Worked every time.

[midlife mommy]

Our doctor suggested mineral oil, though once my daughter was old enough to object, she wouldn't take it anymore (I can't say that I blame her -- yuck). Alternatively, she also suggested undiluted pear juice. That seems to work too.

[katre]

When our son was younger (about 1 or so) and went on a poop strike, we gave him some water with a bit (maybe a teaspoon) of brown sugar dissolved in it. Opened the old floodgates right up.

[You can call me, 'Sir']

'...fickle fecal lava....'

Wordsmith.

[WCD]

When my son went through that it was pear juice, apple juice, orange juice, and finally decaff coffee, like a nice latte. Did the trick every time. Can you get some of those orange essnce prunes in him?

[pooper trooper]

Miralax, for sure. It just adds water to the bowel and is otherwise harmless. Our son went on poop strike when we were trying to train him, too.

[susie]

I just bought some of this for my 3 yr old which came highly recommended: http://www.earth-friendly.com/juiceplus.php3?gclid=CJfQr7uan5ICFQIuHgodtgvULw
I hope you have tarps to hand out for the inevitable eruption... maybe he's waiting for Bridget to return?

[Litte Bird]

I would say massive amounts of Dr. Pepper, but then there's the caffine issue. Just avoid saltines, if one eats too many, it'll take dynamite to remove it. Load him up with water and juices. Apple juice should work. Might I recommend covering all surfaces in your home in plastic? That "fickle fecal lava" could be more catastrophic than anticipated. Think "Old Faithful", just not as reliable.

[Mom101]

I wish I had saved an ex's brilliant musical homage to a summer in Mexico written to the tune of Living La Vida Loca. The lyrics were "squirting the fecal mocha." I'm sure there was something in there about fickle fecal lava.

I will take your silence the last few days as a sign that things have resumed course and not that you're now on day eight of the ordeal

[anon]

Laid Off Dad I like you very much. I read you all the time. But for the love of all things fiberous, stop pushing the potty training. Yeah you can feed him prunes, and raisins and miralax. He may seem all nonchalant about the pooping in the pants, potty training stuff, but he is basically screaming "I am not ready". Give the little tyke a break. Put a diaper on him and the poop will come out.

[JM]

I shared your story with my 7 year old girl, who laughed until she cried. And now I know for sure she'll never forget Krakatoa. Thanks!

[kb]

The suspense is killing me. I'm on the edge of my (toilet) seat. How did the story end?