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The days of living strenuously

Some of you may have noticed lately that I've been twittering about buying a bike. I had one about ten years ago, and it brought me two years of joy until it was stolen out of my parents' garage. I'd wanted to replace it for years, but I never got around to it--mainly because my little apartment started shrinking when the boys arrived. I always thought a bike would be one of the first things I'd get when I finally moved out of here and got a little more space. But the time has come to think about the present, and about great it is to bike around the city. So I bought one yesterday and drove it off the lot cackling like an Australopithicus who had just discovered fire.

I started out slow, just pedaling over to the bike path that parallels the West Side Highway. You know, just to see how far up it goes. And you know what? After an hour and a half I discovered that it goes all the way to the northern tip of Manhattan. I met a couple of bike nuts just north of the George Washington Bridge, and after we foraged our way back down along the east side I went over to MapMyRide and found I'd ridden 22.9 miles. My flabby-babby and I are not on speaking terms.

That was a nice bit of improvised discovery, except that when I ventured forth I'd forgotten I'd scheduled an eight-mile hike through Harriman State Park. It was a splendid and peaceful way to  send the oppressive city heat a hearty F-U. Except my shins and ankles have staged a sympathy strike and will not return my calls.

As I haul my throbbing, bow-legged arse off to bed, I'll leave you with a cinematical KILLER FACT: In the director's cut of That Thing You Do!, Tom Hanks's character Mr. White is gay. And his boyfriend Lloyd is played by Howie Long. Chew on that for a bit, and I'll be back when the Taint Rebellion has been quelled.

Comments

Well.

Who's got a sore bum, then?

You might want to adjust the angle of the seat so the nose points slightly down--that'll take some pressure off of a very small area and redistribute it to a slightly larger area.

Be very careful, LOD. You no doubt recall the generous amount of blood spilled trying to quell the Hungarian Taint Rebellion of 1924. Quelling disgruntled taints is no walk in the park.

Howie Long? Former Oakland Raider Howie Long? That's great.

The TAINT REBELLION!

I'm going to try and work that into a sentence any opportunity I get.

I hope you've got yourself a decent pair of bike shorts with a good chamois. Yeah, they look dorky as all hell, but they're definitely a bum-saver. I wear real pants over them, so nobody's looking at my shiny black lycra ass.

I must ask: why was "taint" removed? Was there in fact a rebellion? Or did one of your folks or siblings ask about it?

I must ask: why was "taint" removed? Was there in fact a rebellion? Or did one of your folks or siblings ask about it?

I guess I couldn't resist incorporating "flabby-babby" into a post.

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