Take five

On Saturday, Robert turned five, which is a big deal for a boy. Five means you can show people your age without holding any fingers back. Five is when things start to take shape. Five takes questions from the empirical ("Daddy, who invented hubcaps?") to the philosophic ("Daddy, will time go on forever?"). Five means kindergarten, where kids and their loopy ideas spend five days a week intermixing with other kids and their loopy ideas. Five means getting a skunk-eye from the grumpy bus driver when you try to ride for free to Nana's house. Five is the onset of full-throttle boyhood, and its sudden differentness from girlhood.

Five means you can declare that your birthday party must be Boys Only, and that its central theme must involve "vehicles." Five means everything has to be fastfastfast, hurling itself through space or around a track or down the stairs, often at "944 thousand 900 million miles per hour." Girls obviously just can't keep up, because they're too crazy about "princesses and clothes and junk." Five means RPMs and ovaries just do not mix. (Which is why five should meet Danica Patrick.)

And after you exclude all of your best girl-friends from your birthday party, five means not feeling the slightest bit awkward when you run into one on the way to the party. The same girl who invited you to her party six weeks ago, who fed you cake and let you jump on her bed and held your hand while you watched the Shrek DVD. Five will make small talk as if nothing is awry and then announce that he is going to his party and sorry, but girls can't go and that's the rule. (In that regard, five is lucky that his friend's mom is so cool.)

Five means taking all your best boy buddies to the Transit Museum and running in and around and through all the subway trains, communing with ghosts who wore fedoras and read about the war and wondered if the Dow would ever break 100. Five means lots of gifts with wheels on them, including some mostly generic Lego sets that inspire you to make "race cars that are completely awesome!" And five means sizing up a lesser gift (a remote-control car that is really isn't all that remote because the control is attached to the car by an eight-inch wire) and re-gifting it to your ecstatic little brother.

And when you tuck him in at night, five will tell you that this was the best day ever, and that you are the best daddy in the world. Which is why five will make you feel as alive and loved as you've ever felt.

Comments

[tuckova]

I feel unusually sad on behalf of the girls who didn't get to go to that party. It sounds like a fun one.

[Weeze]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who knows about the ghosts in the Transit Museum.

[anna]

Turning five is a big deal for a boy, and for his Dad too...Congratulations.

[wood from sweetjuniper]

awwwww.

wonderful post. Happy Birthday, Robert.

[Hygiene Dad]

Happy Birthday Robert.

Nice to know I won't be out of style with my five year old next year. Really nice post. :)

[MetroDad]

Happy birthday, Robert! Five sounds awesome.

[Jenny]

If you don't already have it you should get a copy of "Its Hard to be 5" by Jamie Lee Curtis. Its awesome, and it really speaks to all those things that suddenly change when you turn five, it even talks about dealing with your little brother. My boys love it.

[Jaime]

Beautiful post, and happy happy birthday!

[Alli]

Happy Birthday Robert! 5 is like magic! Then come the school pictures - where you suddenly see a child staring back at you and not a baby face - makes me cry just a little. I totally respect people who don't have/want kids, but I often wonder if they feel that kind of intense love.

[Amy]

Welcome to Five!! I'm looking forward to it!

[Darren a/k/a Clare's Dad]

Happy fifth birthday to Robert.

Clare's Mom and I are loving five too...even though Clare's is about "princesses and clothes and junk."

[TSM]

There is this song by Daily Planet called "When I Was Five" that is FABULOUS, and really captures that...special...idontknowwhat about being 5.

You should check it out.

And? Enjoy five. Because soon it'll be fifteen and you'll wish it was five again.

[ALG]

I loved this post. It reminded me of what it was like to be five. Five was great. Even as a girl.

[Jenn]

Oh man. I loved this. And you are BAD BIRTH CONTROL, because you suddenly have me wanting a Boy Creature.

[momto3cubs]

I have three boys, ages 9, 7, and 4-almost-5, and five is a wonderful age! Enjoy!

Congratulations and Happy Birthday to Robert!

[Lisa]

I have a 2yr old who thinks he's 5, RPM's and all. And a 14yr old who thinks she's 18... but acts like she's 2.

Lord help me.

[pnuts mama]

happy birthday, robert!
a birthday party at the transit museum? awesome.

so true about boys that turn 5- my 6yr old nephew totally dropped off all his girl friends right about that time. i'll be so sad if his little brother does in a few months when he turns 5- i'm hoping the fact that he's the baby helps him stay sweet on the ladies for a few more years!

[samantha Jo Campen]

Aw! What a wonderful post.

Happy birthday Robert. And re-gifting to your little brother makes you seem older and wiser than '5' would have you believe. What a gentleman thing to do.

Congratulations on this fun year!

[hongcgi]

Congratulations! What a fantastic day!

[Kathee]

Ah, 5. My wild redhead turned 23 on Sunday. But when he was 5, seventeen years ago, he looked at me with wide blue eyes and said, "Everyone has two eyes--except trees, of course." I had not yet let him peel potatoes.

I don't feel bad about the party, because now my son only hopes that he can still shoot better than his mom the next time his birthday comes around. I thank God I had 4 brothers!