Evidently, I've been kidnapped and taken to an exact replica of New York City located somewhere in the southern hemisphere. Yesterday El Niño gave us a record high of 72 (seventy-two) degrees, leaving many New Yorkers disoriented and wondering why they weren't somewhere in the Hamptons. It was also interesting to note that, despite the sweet balminess, just about everybody was wearing a jacket, mostly out of habit. Because one is supposed to wear outer clothing in winter. If it's 72 degrees in April, you see T-shirts and halter tops galore. But now you see people dressing for cold because is should be cold, using typical New Yorker hubris to will the temperatures into seasonality.
You want to know something else? It's cool to witness a record firsthand. Nightly weather reports are proud to tell us that "the record low for today was -88 degrees Kelvin, during the infamous Liquid Nitrogen Storm of 1823," and it seems so remote. But if this record stands for a while, I'll know I was there, in the middle of it, chasing balls around Stuyvesant Square and sweating like a mofo.
You see, Robert's two current passions are Legos and soccer, the former because his aunt scored him a huge starter set for Christmas, the latter because of the Fox Soccer Channel. He's decided he wants to be a goalie, because they wear different-colored shirts and often shave their heads. From watching all the premier-league matches on FSC, he also knows that the goalie's main job is to kick the ball away from the other team, so after I send him a shot on goal he likes to punt the ball as far from Daddy as possible. Yet another reason to consider canceling my gym membership.
Running around like this is also a good strategy for making sure I sleep through all the after-hours mouse parties in my apartment. Apparently, word has gotten out that Club LOD is the place to be; there's a big hole in the floor by the old radiator, lots of clutter to hide in, and the occasional morsel of food thrown from TwoBert's high chair that escapes the broom. The war continues, and since the rodents are winning the battles it falls upon the humans to engage the enemy more effectively. Therefore, I might have to expand our defense budget a bit.
With luck, I'll be able to keep the spending under a half trillion.
