After about a week, I’ve decided to take down the Body Count graphic because the mouse activity is at an ebb. Plus, it wasn’t even accurate; it should really have read “1.5.” We killed one of the little critters in a trap baited with peanut butter and raw bacon (which smelled amazing, btw – you hear that, Ben and/or Jerry?), but another set off a trap and was only grazed. As it struggled to its feet I stood over it with typical, new-sheriff-in-town menace. “Tell your friends down the hole what you just saw,” I bellowed evenly as it limped behind the desk. I’ve envisioned it staggering back to its hideout, dazed and breathless, like Latrine in “Top Secret!” We haven’t seen a mouse since.
It also helps that Methuselah finally came by to fix our floor, and I must say he outdid himself. I expected a pretty crappy job, but in this case his crapsmanship is truly breathtaking. Our floor is made of deep-brown oak, and the replacement boards are an unfinished blond pine. I can’t tell if they’re attached to the joists, but I know there’s entirely too much give when you put pressure on them. At least no one will notice as soon as we cover it with yet another random pile of kiddetritus.
None of that matters now, however, because today I’m headed out to Colorado for a weekend of skiing. To the extreme, I’m told. I’ve never skied out west before, and I hear the experience will ruin the East Coast resorts forever. Apparently, they have mountains out there, and the snow tends to linger and stay white for longer than half an hour.
I figured it makes sense to see at least some snow this winter, and New York might have intuited this and tried to make amends this morning. “Hey, wait,” New York pleaded. “I can give you snow! Just watch!” With that, it screwed up its gritty face and constipatedly squeezed out a few flakes that melted before they hit the ground. It was a nice try. Really. But when your situation can’t meet your needs, you have to look elsewhere.
I feel a little guilty cheating on NYC like this, but by the time I take my first spill into 42 inches of powder, I think it'll pass.
