Little chicken man

During my first week at college, I saw one of those comedic hypnotists convince my new friend John that he had a dire message to deliver to the crowd, and that as soon as he reached the microphone he realized he could only crow like a chicken. John was normally a laid-back, slow-drawler from Macon, Georgia, and the site of him hopping up and down, flapping his bent arms and buckawk-ing with manic urgency was as surreal a thing as I've seen.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to TwoBert's world.

If there is one true thing in this random universe, it's that TwoBert has something to tell you. He's seen the signs, he's read the word, he knows what he wants, he knows what's to come. Mostly he'd like that thing over there, just out of his reach. Or perhaps a drink. But the poor boy is still so hamstrung by his pre-verbality that all he can do is point and moan like a baby Wookiee. He's got superb comprehension -- once you figure out what he's moaning for, his eyes beam like halogen foglights, and he smiles and shakes his head vigorously like a dog waiting for you to toss the Snausage. And to his credit, he's learned to ask for water long before he's actually thirsty, because by the time he's finally communicated that he wants a pull of water, he knows he'll be absolutely parched.

Luckily, there is no mystery when he wants to go for a walkabout. This morning, after his nap, he scampered into the room, threw both his shoes at me, and pulled on my fingers like he was reeling in a 20-pound marlin. We walked 9 city blocks (!) to the park, and he spent two hours throwing himself headlong down the curly slide. Free-range chickens should have it so good.

Comments

[Kyran, Notes to Self]

I wouldn't mention the chickens.

http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily/12_07_2006.html

[LOD]

Mmmm. Tasty.

[Val]

I knew that chicken comment the moment I saw it. God love you - that's hysterical! As for TwoBert, my daughter is the same way...there is always something she is DESPERATE to say and she gets so mad when we can't get it right on the first guess. Don't worry, from what my friends tell me, it's only a matter of time before she starts telling me not only what she wants, but how I'm doing everything wrong...

[The Dad from Looky, Daddy!]

I've got identical twin toddlers, and when a friend asked me if their personalities were different, I explained that one of my girls was "more pointy" than the other.

My friend replied that she didn't think "pointy" was a personality trait.

I told her that she's obviously not spent a great deal of time with a toddler.

[Wordygirl]

I've got boy/girl twins that are 20 months old and my daughter is behaving similarly. She'll come over to me and pull at my hand, grunting as if she were actually straining from the effort of lifting me, and lead me to either the pantry or the refrigerator. My son on the other hand is less verbal but less demanding. He'll go the fridge and ask for "meeeelk" or "not meeeeelk" depending on whether he prefers milk or juice that day. Otherwise, he's pretty laid back!

[Cherie]

Brilliant (and funny) comparison. I've always read that using signs for pre-verbal toddlers helps alleviate the frustration of trying to communicate--I've just never gotten around to actually trying it with any of my three kids.

[MothersKnowBest]

Sounds like an intelligent one. Just hope when he wants to work out he will not be throwing 20lb dumbbells at you.

[dawn]

did you go to appalachian state university? because i saw a hypnotist show my first week of school too. fall, 1993. it was ridiculous. what a way to be welcomed into higher education.

[Helen]

Smart, and a good walker!

[Mom101]

What a smahtie. My daughter, she just looks at me ernestly and speaks in pure gibberish. I smile and nod, with no idea what she's talking about. I hope it's not foreshadowing our relationship to come.

[javamama]

Whaddya think about getting TwoBert hooked up with some sign language? I've seen it work pretty danged well and make everyone happier, for my three and many friends of ours. Or not. I'd hate to be accused of distributing unsolicited assvice, but, there it is anyway.

[elaine]

I know I already commented but I had something to add about signing. My siser has four children, the second in line has Down Syndrome. Kids with Downs have a hard time mastering moving their tongue; so she wouldn't be too delayed in her communication, my sister taught her sign language. All went well until number 3 figured out that his sister was getting attention for signing - so he quit talking. It ended up hurting his language acquisition so my sister had to abandon the whole project!