As "#1 news source" for reader sgazzetti, it is my duty to report that the GOP senators from Montana and Virginia have conceded their races, officially tipping the balance to the Democrats. I think it's great that in the twilight of this six-year Reign of Error, the last two guys to fade from view are named Burns and Allen. Say good night Gracie, indeed.
Now that the election cycle is finally in remission, it's time for the nation's focus to shift toward what's really important: the Holiday Season, and the concomitant beseechments to Please Please Please Buy Lots of Our Crap. With this in mind, I offer up the following letter that I might actually send:
Dear Lands' End: