In the screenplay of my mind

Through the course of his playground convivialities, Robert met a beautiful two-year-old girl. She was skipping about in a lilac dress covered with daisies and gripping her toy horse with both hands.

Her daddy was two steps behind: "Madeline? What does the horse say? Madeline? Madeline. Madeline? Maddie? What does the horse say? Do you see your horsie? What does your horsie say? Madeline? Ma-de-line? Maddie sweetie? What does the horse say?"

"Gee, Dad, I dunno. But I know what the jackass says." *

*OK, she didn't really say that. But wouldn't it have been sweet?

Comments

[damian]

"dad! shuddup! you're going to be on overheardinnewyork again!"

[prego]

That's a lot of $#@*ing trouble to go through just to hear a goddamned 'neigh.'

[Daniel]

This brings back memories. One of my favorite rants when my kids were that age (they're now 6 & 9) was "there's never any other kids for them to play with when we go to the park. Because every other kid has got one or sometime two other adults following them around 'playing' with them." When I was a kid my parents sat on the bench and read the paper while us kids ran around and had a great time playing with other kids.

Come on parents, sit your ass down, leave the kids alone, stop interfering and let them play.

Thank you.

[Seeking Woman]

Is it any wonder that many kids today are not playing like we used to as kids?

I bet it'd have been even funnier if the little girl had turned around, handed the stick pony to her dad and said, "Da-ddy, what does the horsie say when he is shoved up your ass?"

[grampa]

It does bring back a specific memory to me. I had been driving around our town doing errands and evidently holding a conversation with myself, consisting mostly of opinions about the driving attitudes of other drivers. When out of the back child seat, the sweet voice of my three year old daughter, asked, "What did that a-hole do, daddy." Up til that time, I had thought that scatology was OK, amongst the standard choices of blasphemy, obscenity, cynicism, or pornography normally chosen by educated low-lives. Now I don't think any of it is OK, because it seems ironic when compared with the apirations we have for our kids.

[Madeleine]

And they didn't have the good sense to spell her name properly, either.

[Kara]

Egad.
That sounds remarkably familiar. Substitute my son's name for Madeline, and it's a dead ringer.
Why do people DO that?

[Kate]

Heh, I want to see what this guy says in 10 years when she asks for her own (real-live) horse.

Neigh!

[tortoiseshelly]

This reminds me of what I affectionately term the big "Jello" debate at my local grocery store. As I walked my cart down the aisle, I hear a woman in the next aisle loudly and rapidly repeating, "Do you say 'jello' or 'yellow'?" It turns out it was a woman talking to her toddler (although not, apparently, giving the child a chance to respond).

I can only assume she was teaching her child the English and Spanish pronunciations of Jello. And we all know how handy that little tidbit of knowledge can be.

[emma]

This kind of parent is just so annoying. Glad the little girl told him where to get off.

[Extreme Dad]

Poor Robert. There's always a catch when it comes to hot chicks...

[El Charulastra]

Even worse are those bilingual fuckers who insist on having the answer in both English and (insert language here).

[El Charulastra]

P.S. thank you for the tip on Andy White's biography.

[dutch from sweet juniper]

the parents these days. sheeeesh.

[wordnerd]

Wow -- not even sure how I ended up here, but glad I found your place. I love it! Off to read more of your posts, if that's okay...

[elaine]

Oh man - those kinds of parents drive me crazy. She's either going to learn that and recite it ad nauseum or she's gonna learn "Shut Up" real quick.

I'm rooting for the latter!

[William]

HA. Classic