From croup to nuts

I used to liken Robert's sleeping habits to a fish in a rowboat. You know, because of the flopping. (Hilarious, right?) Well, that metaphor is officially retired, because it is now indelibly attached to the sight of little TwoBert lying semi-catatonic on my chest, frantically rasping for air and moaning feebly.

Robert got his voice back late Tuesday afternoon, but two hours later TwoBert spiked a fever of 102. We gave him a tepid bath and dosed him with Tylenol, and he slept through until 3.30am, when he woke up wheezing horribly and too panicked to nurse. That was the worst part; with Robert, I could at least explain what was going on and even make a few frog jokes to help calm his nerves. But I couldn't communicate with TwoBert; the best I could do was hold him in a steamy bathroom and sing lullabies to calm him and help regulate his breathing. And all he could do was look at me with wild eyes that asked, "What's happening? Why can't you make this stop?"

It's one thing to contemplate having to go to the ER as a last resort. But it's an emotional moment when your pediatrician, who favors exhausting all other options before resorting to invasive measures, tells you it's time to go. I had kept it together pretty well for most of the night, but when I had to call in sick and describe the situation, I lost it. I had to confront the fact that not only was I powerless to cure TwoBert, I couldn't even tell him it would be all right. When I put voice to this idea, I started blubbering.

My wife took TwoBert to the ER (for when he needed to nurse), while I stayed and played LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL with Robert, who was very concerned. TwoBert was nebulized with epinephrine and got a steroid injection, and now he's fine. (Except his muscles are now much more defined, and his nuts are the size of a baby's.) And as I weather the ubiquitous advertising for all the "horror" flicks that are out for Halloween I think, Fuck you, Hollywood, and your contrived little creepshows. I know fear.

As I type, TwoBert is rolling on the carpet and blowing unbelievably sodden raspberries at the cat, and Robert is walking around in a wig, my wife's high heels, and a tool belt, laying the groundwork for a stellar career as (quite possibly) the world's first transvestite general contractor. How completely wonderful it is to be back to normal.

Comments

[another anna]

Oh, man. Serious sickness sucks. And the sucking is increased by several orders of magnitude when it's just a wee babe. I'm so glad things are back to normal for you all.

Raspberries! Tool belts! Bliss!

[Lisa]

My son had a stomach virus when he was two and all he could do was drink orange Pedialyte. He would only drink the clear and not the orange. Ironically, all he drinks now is oj. I about cried too when he was finally eating. He lost a lot of weight in two days which made his eyes sunken and his head look too big for his body. I looked at him in his high chair and thanked God that was over.
As for Robert's fashion statement/cry out for help, I know you took a picture for your sister and to save for his rehearsal dinner.

[dgm]

ohhh man, i empathize. we just did the serious-croup-to-the-ER trip with our 2 1/2 y.o. a few weeks ago, and he threw up the oral steroid so they had to give him a shot. it was frightening to see the panic in his eyes when he tried to breathe. overlapping with the croup was some other virus he picked up, causing fever/vomiting for another 5 days.

'tis the season.

[Sheryl]

There is nothing scarier than having a sick kid. Especially a baby. It always makes me think of the hell parents must have had to endure before things like steroids were available. Glad all is well. :O)

[Tracy]

You're right, and I'm sorry that you know this fear now. It's the most horrid thing watching your baby struggle for breath. I've done that a couple of times, including the run for help, and it's not fun. Not fun at all.

[landismom]

I'm glad everything turned out okay. It's definitely one of the hardest things I've ever gone through--to see one of my kids seriously ill, and to feel powerless to fix it.

[peacock]

As an asthmatic, here's to clear bronchial tubes. Sooo glad things are back to normal for you and your family!

[kate]

How scary. . .here's to no more ER trips w/ an infant. I'm so glad TwoBert is feeling better today.

[sac]

Dude, tell me you haven't seen Life Is Beautiful. Because I haven't. Because just the description of it made me well up with man-tears. And just thinking about it now ain't helping.

Nothing to make you feel more helpless and scared than a sick baby. Glad to hear everything is OK. Just keep him away from Barry Bonds.

[Prego]

I'd rather have tubes sticking in and out of every opening in my body than to have one of my little dudes sick enough to have to go to the ER. I've had a couple scares: Fever seizure, a gallon and a half of vomit and breathing more deserving of an asshole "pack of camels a day" smoker. Tough.

[Chookooloonks]

"His nuts are the size of a baby's."

Genius. Sheer genius.

[liz]

Whew. I'm so glad everybody is okay. Those trips to the ER give me the absolute heeby-jeebies.

[bihari]

When our now-eight-month-old was three weeks, he awoke one night grey and screaming and refused to nurse. His temperature was 101.7. My husband's a doctor and I'm an ER nurse practitioner, so we knew right there what it meant: admission, lumbar puncture, blood cultures, IV antibiotics. So I drove my boobs and my baby to the hospital, where I held the baby down for needle after needle after needle. I tried to be grateful we had access to asepsis, antibiotics, and good care. I tried to be grateful for the fact that at least hospitals aren't scary, alien places for our family. But mostly I just felt frantic that I couldn't ease my child's pain and distress.

Now, whenever I come into a room in the ER and find a family with a sick baby, I am extra, extra gentle, and my heart breaks a little every time I have to order a test or treatment which involves needles or catheters. I hope that as a professional I never forget what it feels like to be the parent. I should print out your wonderful post and put it up at work, to remind all the staff to be loving with sick babies and their families.

[Scully]

I'm so glad everything is better. That is very scary. Very very scary.

When my son was 5 months old I listened to the laboured breathing all night and then phone the pediatrician. She gave me hell for not just taking him to the emergency room to begin with.

When we arrived at emerg, they didn't even ask me my name, they just took the kid and raced off with him.

Lots of lots of treatments and x-rays and hours of worry later, I had a diagnosis of pneumonia, but he could breathe again, and I stopped crying about a week later.

He didn't scare me again until his appendix burst and he almost died.

[phsymom]

As with everyone else, I'm so glad to hear that everyone is better and everything is back to normal. As for fear, most don't know true fear until they experience something like this with there children.

My son is gonna be 14 in December and after pneumonia, removal of small growth in neck, fractured collar bone, collision on bicycle with a moving vehicle and a few other incidents ... it never stops being scary.

Being a parent is the most scariest wonderful thing though.

[Mary]

I can't stand the blank hurting look on my toddler's face when she's sick. It's like a knife to your heart. There's nothing worse than watching your kids when they're sick and being powerless to help.

Glad he's better now.

[MetroDad]

Sorry you had such a scare but glad to hear that everything is alright with TwoBert. I can't even fathom the fear.

[Amanda]

So glad to hear babes is better. When our 4 year old was 8 weeks, he came down with a resp. virus and was hospitalized for 2 days. It was so horrible to watch him lethargic and struggle to breathe. (of course I'd been back to work for 1 week, and I played the mommy guilt thing over and over in my head....) Them looking up at you with the "Mommy/Daddy I don't feel good, make this stop," and you being able to do nothing is the worst feeling as a parent. Thanksfully we have aaccess to good medical care, and practitioners who have the knowledge to treat our wee ones.

[kate]

That little boy in Life is Beautiful is so cute, it hurts. Glad the baby is okay, its scary when they are so little

[drunkle]

I think I have a low-res pic of Bert (original strength) in the wig from over the summer, should you desire a copy.
Glad to hear the boyz are back to normal.

[jen]

i'm delurking for a moment. i too share the fear of croup. roughly a week before my daughters second birthday she randomly spiked a fever. we gave her some tyenol and it went down. all of a sudden i heard the wheezing. i finally got her to sleep, and then i couldn't fall asleep fearing the worst. around 3:30am my eyes couldn't take it anymore so i laid down, and listened. my nerves couldn't take it anymore either, she sounded like she was having the hardest time breathing it freaked me out so much i woke up the entire house to inform anyone who was awake enough to listen that i was taking her to the hospital. my mom talked me into calling the ambulance, and i rode with her. my heart was in my throat the entire way. the EMS people were incredibly nice luckily and didn't treat me like i was an idiot for not knowing it was croup. they assured me she was fine. croup maybe the scariest of sicknesses we've dealt with so far. i'm glad to see that twobert is okay! i'm going back to lurking now.

[Bob]

My son was 6 mos. the first time he woke us up in the middle of the night screaming - because he couldn't breath. We were living in Greece at the time and fortunately the base I was stationed at was just down the road. I thought his chest was going to collapse, I swear it looked like it was touching his spine. I was scared shitless. We whipped him to the emergency room. He wouldn't let them put an oxygen mask on him so he had to be put in an oxygen tent. They nembutol-ized him after he calmed down and kept him for 3 days until everything cleared up. (he had a chest cold). This was repeated twice more before we found out he had asthma. He hasn't been in the hospital (for this) since he was 2. He's 20 and still on asthma meds.

There's nothing worse in this world than seeing your child suffering and not being able to do a thing.