Jung and restless

My wife remembers every dream she has. I know this because earlier in our relationship, back when our mornings didn't begin with the jolt of a 3½-year-old rhino belly-flopping into bed with us, the day's first conversation usually involved some surreal subconscious adventure that she remembered in vivid detail.

Me? I only remember the ones about anxiety and sex.

Remember when the idea of a truly mortifying anxiety nightmare was walking down the high school hallway naked? Or sleeping through your calculus final? Ha. Freudian chump change. Now that I’m a parent, I get to have real whoppers. The most common is the one when Robert runs into the subway without me just as the doors close, and it whisks him away, his face a rictus of mute terror. I get that one every couple of months or so.

Two nights ago, I dreamed the family was walking down the street toward our apartment and Robert ran ahead to the door, as he usually does. Just as I was calling out for him to come back, a dark van screeched onto the sidewalk, two burly arms yanked him through the side door, and it roared off. I bolted off after it, and I was gaining ground when a gun appeared from the passenger window and shot me in the chest. My body had just thudded to the ground when I woke up, gasping for breath and groping for a GSW in my sternum. After I restarted my heart I padded into Robert’s room and watched him sleep for about 10 minutes.

Then, last night, in a fit of apparent self-regulation, my subconscious sent me a dream that some Weather Channel anchors came over for a Super Bowl party and launched into a passionate orgy in my living room. The sight of all those robotically dull people moaning and writhing and over-emoting, as if every touch was a one-way trip to Pleasure Town, was just a joy to behold.

Even though I've pretty much broken even on the emotional scale, it's still been an eventful couple of nights. I hope after I pass out tonight the REM boys can take the night off.

Comments

[jamie]

You know, it may be just a little bit of payback for insane pregnancy dreams.

Although I definitely think that the children being lost dream likes men best.

[Brooke]

I'm not a parent yet, but I have a recurring dream about forgetting that I am supposed to be watching the kid I nanny for. I just leave him for hours and then remember him, but have no way to get back.

How much worse will it be when my own kid is here?!

[yades]

Oy!! If I started sharing my dreams... there would be no surprises when the men in white coats showed up at my door weilding sharp needles straight jackets and those silly grins that say "just pretend your here for coffee...she'll never notice!"

[Zach]

Major symptom of watching too much tv: use of the term 'GSW'!

[not-for-profit-dad]

Did you have a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid, with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?

Why am I the only one who has that dream?

[LOD]

I've had that dream. Except in my dream the pickles they throw are truly enormous.

[tpon]

I never remember my dreams... and now after reading that Weather Channel thing, I am kind of hoping that I can forget yours.

[Ada]

I can't watch horror shows or television drama involving children anymore. It's not entertainment. I don't require scary stories to be told to me. They are constantly running through my head over and over and over.

Sometimes I go through scenerios and try to make sure that if "such and such happened" I would be prepared.

Needless to say, we bought a generator over the weekend. I live in Canada. Gotta be prepared, man.

[Stv.]

Wow. I so totally get those dreams too now. The first time I had a bad dream about my new kid, I was almost happy - hey! nothing bad happened to me in my dreams - that's a first. But then, of course, I realized what had happened and that was much worse. Now I miss those crazy dreams where bad things happen to me, rather than to my kid.

[Jon]

I don't know about dreams (although I've had my fill of interesting ones) but I'm totally in the same boat with Ada. I don't have children of my own, but I have plenty of friends who have kids, one of which is about ten now and I love him like he's my own. I can't watch anything that comes close to some minor harm coming to children without my stomach seizing up. The last notable time that happened was at the movies, seeing "Revenger of the Sith." When Anakin was killing all the young Jedi, I thought I was going to throw up. I was shaken about that one scene for days.

[Wende]

I hate dreaming. Am I the only person who thinks dreaming is a waste of a good night's (afternoon's) sleep?

I said that once to a therapist and she began scribbling like nobody's business. Since then, I open every conversation with the touchy feely types of the world with, "You know what I find a waste of time? Dreaming!" My God the joy that brings me.

[Guero]

I got a 18 month old toddler which keeps me busy. I still dream a lot but unfortunately my sex dream ratio is down to about 70 % compared to pre-baby 95 %. It's tough but I guess my son is worth it..... I love dreaming!

H

[Nancy]

I am 18+ weeks pregnant with our first and my reoccurring dreams are that I have the baby and have forgotten to feed it for days or that I have only been feeding the baby once a day because "that’s how often the dog eats." I’m going to be a horrible parent.

[Matthew]

The only dream I have is to get a full night's sleep.

However, I think if you laid off the porn, the orgy dreams would diminish. =)

[jill]

are you implying that their are other types of dreams besides anxiety and sex?

[Kristen]

The most erotic dream I've had since having my kids was one where Greg from The Wiggles was stalking me in his bright, yellow jersey. If only I could have my pre-kid dreams back...

[BIYF]

I call Stephanie Abrams. Oh, and Michael Stipe's not really invited, is he?

[nicole]

to quell your fears: i was once in the underground in london and a little girl jumped on the train and her grandpa didn't get on. she began crying, but i helped her and promised her we would find her grandpa, etc. it was uneventful, to be honest. we found grandpa on the next train, they reunited, i went on with my day. i bet she doesn't even remember it now.

[Turtlellini]

Regarding your Jung and the Restless dream: It just means you are being a good, protective father. Moms are plagued with those dreams too. At least this mom is...

Last week I dreamt that my husband, (who was interestingly enough, drunk in the dream)-- had stumbled and dropped our son.

However, the boy was just fine and he crawled away to go play with his toys. I didn't worry about it and proceeded w/my night at the party. In other words, I let my guard down and relaxed.

Next morning, I wake up--(in my dream, i mean)--and I can't find the boy anywhere. I'm running around my house, the neighborhood, parks--finding items relating to him like his bath towel, his rubber duckie, his pajamas, etc., but NO BOY!!

ANXIETY!!!!

Of course when I finally DID wake up to an actual reality, you know I had to go right into his room and make sure he was actually there. Phew!

I hate that shit.

[Little Creature]

I have no kids yet, and these are my pre-kids dreams:
- A bunch of demons (yes, DEMONS. And I don't watch Charmed!) invading the city and killing people by crushing their chests.
- A tribe of mountain people that killed their unwanted babies like the Spartans, throwing them from a rock.
- Me, holding a gun, escaping from mobsters in the middle of a shooting.

I can't wait to have kids.
This can only get more interesting.

(Sorry my bad English; I'm Argentinian, living in Switzerland. I can't speak properly any language anymore. I'm too confused.)