Yesterday was the sunniest and mildest day we've had in weeks, so Robert and I spent most of it on the playground. While there, we saw our neighbors and their 18-month-old, who happens to be my landlord's grandson. Extra care was taken to make sure Robert didn't maltreat the kid in any way, because I really don't need to be searching for a new job, caring for a newborn, and homeless.
After they went home for a nap, we were left to frolic among ourselves--and the four billion other kids running and climbing and hurling projectiles at each other. When he was younger, our playground time was all about us. Now, however, Robert ventures out and intermingles with the other kids a lot more, and Daddy sometimes gets to sit on the bench and let his brain fill with idle thoughts. Like these:
- The other day Robert decided he wanted to draw with some crayons because "I am the Masterpiece Boy!" My wife and I will swear on a stack of Larousse Gastronomiques that neither of us has ever called him that, but it does make us all the more intrigued by how the boy will adapt to siblinghood.
- I am completely sick of AOL's fear-based, "You Need Us On That Wall" ad campaign. Poor AOL has been expunged from the company name, and subscribers are bolting in droves. So they're getting desperate and resorting to scare tactics by telling techophobes that if they don't use AOL, viruses and spam and other strange beasties will melt their motherboards. It's a pretty pathetic tack, but it makes sense from AOL's perspective. After all, it worked for Bush.
- If anyone ever declared a fatwa on me, I would be alarmed. But I would also check to make sure the person didn't just say "fart war" in a thick Boston accent.
- A three-way with "incense, wine and candles" isn't really all that super freaky. If Rick James had gone with "llamas, X, and Cheez Wiz," he might've been on to something.






