INT: The kitchen. DADDY returns home from work to find MAMA and ROBERT preparing dinner.
ROBERT (singing): Hubba-ludda! Hubba-dubba-do!
DADDY: What song is that?
ROBERT: It’s the “Hubba-ludda hubba-dubba-do” song!
INT: A public bathroom. ROBERT is peeing while his friend CHARLIE, who is not yet toilet-trained, looks on with his FATHER.
CHARLIE’S FATHER: Wow! Robert is using the potty all by himself!
ROBERT: Actually, this is a toilet.
CHARLIE’S FATHER: You’re right. Do you like to pee by yourself?
ROBERT: I love to poop and pee all day long!
INT: The living room. ROBERT plays with his parking garage. DADDY is on his hands and knees, holding a little sneaker and looking under the desk.
ROBERT: Daddy, what are you doing?
DADDY: I’m looking for your other shoe.
DADDY exits to look in the kitchen, then returns.
ROBERT: Hi Daddy. How’s your shoe problem going?
INT: The bathroom at home. DADDY bathes ROBERT, who soaps himself vigorously.
ROBERT: I can see my testicles! I’m looking at my testicles!
DADDY: Yup. There they are.
ROBERT: I’m holding my testicles! Now I’m washing my testicles!
DADDY: Take care of them, and they’ll take care of you.
ROBERT: I like my testicles!
INT: The coffee shop. DADDY and ROBERT are eating Bagels With Butter.
ROBERT: Where’s Mama?
DADDY: She’s at home sleeping.
DADDY: She is very tired, because there’s a baby in her tummy.
ROBERT: Oh. Can I see it?