The secret to survival in an NYC apartment, as you might imagine, is Negative Crap Flow. If you bring in a quantity of new crap, make sure you pitch a greater quantity of old crap. (By volume, not weight.) This becomes exponentially more important when your twosome becomes a threesome, and that third family member is outgrowing clothes as if he’s been exposed to plutonium.
Since I am much more motivated when there is structure in my life, I have been using my “weekends” to jettison crap. The ladder I borrowed to paint the kitchen? Returned. The pile of old clothes that has waited for months to be taken to Goodwill? Shipped out. Small household appliances unopened since our wedding because we have 27 inches of counter space? Status pending ...
Stuyvesant Town normally has a Fall Flea Market, where over-crapified households like ours can offload our crap onto crapoholics less discriminating than ourselves. (It’s also a great training ground for aspiring craphoarders who are just starting out.) Sadly, this year’s market, which would have been held this weekend, was cancelled due to “security reasons.” That’s right, America. New York can host the Republican National Convention, but a free exchange of mismatched glassware and warped Blue Öyster Cult LPs is just too damned risky.
All of this means I’m doomed to spend the winter navigating a larger surfeit of crap than I anticipated. Which means the terrorists have already won.
